“My fiancé and I just announced our wedding. We have been living together, and over the years we have become quite cordial with my ex because we co-parent the children. She just assumed she would be invited to our wedding and is asking about our plans. I had no intention of inviting her. How do you handle it when someone assumes they will receive a wedding invitation, but they will not?”

With someone other than the father or mother of you or your fiancé’s children, that’s easy. Without wedding invitation in hand, no one should assume he or she is invited anywhere. When you do run into a situation like this, simply explain that the budget is very tight, and the guest count will be very small. Of course, this excuse will not work if you are planning a large wedding. In those instances, you must weigh whether this friendship is one that you want to continue, because notifying someone that he or she will not receive a wedding invitation is sure to provoke either anger or hurt feelings. If you don’t want to upset the individual, hold off as long as possible to see how many regrets you receive; you may be able to fit the guest in.

“My ex and I are really good friends, and I would like him to attend my wedding. Is that poor ex-etiquette?”

When couples stay in contact with each other after divorce, it is usually for the sake of their children. This relationship may then evolve into a friendship as result of their mutual interest-their kids. In these cases, if the fiancé doesn’t mind, the sending a wedding invitation to the ex may be something to consider. However, the basic criterion for making good ex-etiquette decisions when there are children involved is the question “How will this decision affect our kids?” If your ex’s attendance would embarrass or confuse them in any way, it may be best to forgo the wedding invitation and invite him to a private get-together after you return from your honeymoon. If you do not have children together, then typically there is no need of sending a wedding invitation to an ex.Continuing a relationship with an ex when there are no children involved may give one partner false hope of reconciliation and prevent him or her from moving on. It may also make a new partner jeaouls.