| The Importance of “Thank You” |
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There are two fundamentals of expressing gratitude. First, every gift-whether a tangible item, money, a social event in your honour, or a gift of time or talent- should be acknowledged in writing. And second, your acknowledgment should be prompt. Personal, handwritten thank-yous remain the gold standard of courtesy in this age of cell phones, pocket computers, and instant messaging. Written notes demonstrate that the writer cares enough about the giver to compose an individualized message and put the words on paper. How to thank.
· Respond in a timely fashion. Ideally, you’ll write on the day you receive a wedding gift. If you put off all note writing until after the wedding, it can truly become a chore. In fact, it is both wise and correct to write thank-you notes for any gifts received before the wedding. Your thank you notes should be written and sent within three months of receipt of each gift.
· Don’t take shortcuts. Simply signing store-bought cards shows very little consideration. Likewise, writing virtually the same message to everyone is mechanical, and people quickly recognize a “fill-in-the-blanks” note. Stationery printed with “Thank You” or a short quotation or verse is fine, so long as you write your own note. But it’s not acceptable to use a card with pre-printed message.
Whom to thank
As you write notes, remember that not all gifts come wrapped in pretty paper. The following categories include both gift givers and the people who make a wedding special through their effort and goodwill:
· Everyone who gives you a wedding present. This includes people who literally hand you a present, no matter how effusively you thank them in person.
· Everyone who gives you money-cash, checks, contribution to savings and investment accounts, donations to designated charities. Always include some indication of how you plan to use a monetary gift.
· Your attendants. In addition to thank you notes for wedding presents, be sure to attach to the gifts you give your attendants a card or note with a personal sentiment. (“Thanks for everything, baby brother. You really are the best man I could ask for. Love, Mitch”)
· People who do kindnesses to you. The neighbour who accepts delivery of your gifts when you’re at work, the cousin who supervises guest parking at your reception-anyone who assists you during your preparations, the wedding itself, and after the big event should be graciously thanked. It’s also nice to send notes to your officiant and anyone else (the organist or music director) who worked with you on the ceremony, even though you’ve paid them a customary fee.
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